I have a new mantra.
I can't break the thought of "Dang but I miss my life" so I 've added on "because it was a good one."
It adds a little positivity to my common thought, reminds me that it really was that good and that, yes, I've been blessed.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
It's true, I miss him more when I'm bored. When I'm home on a day off, looking to fill my day, and there's no one to fill it with.
It's not like we were constantly together, or had to do everything together. It's just that he was THERE, you know?
And when I sit down on the couch at the end of the day, tune into something mindless to settle down for the night, I would've looked at him and commented on whatever it was we weren't watching. Or critique his channel choice. Or wonder aloud how he can spend so much time .... doing whatever. It's then, when there's no one to hear your comments, no one to tease, no one ask exactly what the hell we're watching anyways that you realize... he's still gone.
And it's not that I need to replace him, because how do you replace that anyways? Can you put on your Match profile "Looking for someone to not watch tv with me every night, complete compatibility a must"? Would it actually net anyone other than the usual almost-divorced guys looking for their next not-girlfriend? Doubtful. Cuz that was a life we learned - one developed over time - as complete compatibility became complete comfort became life.
And I still love my life. More and more everyday. But that doesn't mean I don't have these moments of comfort where I think, "If only he were here."
It's not like we were constantly together, or had to do everything together. It's just that he was THERE, you know?
And when I sit down on the couch at the end of the day, tune into something mindless to settle down for the night, I would've looked at him and commented on whatever it was we weren't watching. Or critique his channel choice. Or wonder aloud how he can spend so much time .... doing whatever. It's then, when there's no one to hear your comments, no one to tease, no one ask exactly what the hell we're watching anyways that you realize... he's still gone.
And it's not that I need to replace him, because how do you replace that anyways? Can you put on your Match profile "Looking for someone to not watch tv with me every night, complete compatibility a must"? Would it actually net anyone other than the usual almost-divorced guys looking for their next not-girlfriend? Doubtful. Cuz that was a life we learned - one developed over time - as complete compatibility became complete comfort became life.
And I still love my life. More and more everyday. But that doesn't mean I don't have these moments of comfort where I think, "If only he were here."
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)