I’ll just tell you, it sucks.

It sucks, not getting everything you ever dreamt of.

It sucks, not doing what you planned to today.

It sucks, stopping your wedding planning.

It sucks, trying to unravel bills instead.

It sucks, trying to rebuild a life.

It sucks, building a new identify, that might still include a piece of him.

It sucks, letting even that life go.

It sucks, making your own life.

All I can say is, it sucks.   Every part.  But somehow, bit by bit and piece by piece, and then you’re on your seconds already (the second Christmas, second anniversary, etc) and life goes on.

It doesn’t get easier.  It gets different.  You know what worked last year, so you try it again.  So then, it doesn’t get easier, but because you know what to expect, it does get different.

It gets different.