2016

And 2016 was the year I quit trying.

I recognized nothing was working for me, and I quit trying.

I quit caring if I looked good, what my hair or my face was doing.  I attracted attention anyways.

I quit banging my head against the wall trying to bend a couple situations to MY will, professionally.  I walked away from one of the funnest jobs I'll ever have because I couldn't change a couple things I decided I couldn't live with.  I quit being so involved that I had to know everything that was happening and I had to be the one to fix every problem.

I learned how to walk away... and found some energy.

Which I promptly poured into opening a new restaurant, only to discover very early on that was still too much involvement on me.  I quit.  I quit being that girl, the one who had to control everything, and became the girl who only wanted to show up for a paycheck.

So I quit that job.  And took 10 days from life off work, during which my body started to recover from the stress I'd put it thru.

I quit caring.  I quit asking what they would say and said I'm paying my bills, and on only one job.  I'm paying my bills, and there's a little in the bank.  It's a job.  I never wanted a job that was a lifestyle.

Remember?  I never wanted a career.  I wanted a life.  With my guy yes, but in a quiet, peaceful place where I could drink my coffee in the sun.  I wanted a life where I worked as little as I needed or as much as I wanted.  I wanted a job that let me meet people, and allowed the time to see the people I already knew.

And so I quit.  Retired, if you will.  I still have a job.... I've always assumed I would til I was in my 70s, 80s if I'm able.  But it's not a career.  I clock in, clock out, and thru quitting, have learned to laugh at all the little dramas.

I quit not having time for people.  Yes, new job is kinder on the schedule, but I also started scheduling lunches rather than waiting for happy hours, answering the phone rather then letting it go to a voicemail I'll struggle to return.  Thru the glories of technology, I stay in touch with my friends in other states.

And I quit caring.  This is my life.  If all I want to do is sit at a sunny table, read the news, and eat good food, that, my friends, is exactly what I intend to do.